Day 6 - A Stranger

Dear Annett,

What. Just WHAT?!

I don't understand.

When I was very small, I have a memory of being in Granda Hanna's house. I knew who my family were - Granny and Granda Evans on mum's side, with her two older sisters Carolyn and Auntie Alison, and then Carolyn's husband Uncle Joe. They lived far away in the mysterious realms of Belfast and Bangor and we only saw them at Christmas. Granny and Granda Hanna on dad's side, with his younger brother Uncle Freddie and his wife Olive. The only mystery in the family was why on earth it seemed natural to put an 'Auntie' in front of Alison, but not Carolyn or Olive, lol. And I was one of the only people I knew who didn't have ANY first cousins! Rebecca as my second cousin, and, as I later found out, David Hanna as well, but no first cousins.

Then that day, I saw a photo on the mantelpiece, and asked "Why's daddie with those other children in that photo?"

Awkward silence. I don't remember who answered, but it was something like "No, that's not your dad, that's his older brother Annett. That's his wife, and those are your cousins, *names were rattled off here but I only remember Nicola, Suzanne and Jeffrey*. But we don't speak to them." Now I suspect that the memory's a bit skewed and whoever it was actually said "THEY don't speak to US," but whatever.

I didn't understand, but I didn't ask any questions. I think I was embarrassed because I mistook someone else for dad? But how can you blame me for that mistake, when you look so alike and I didn't know you exist?

Time passed. Sometimes I thought I'd imagined the whole thing, and you were just people who went to our church, and in some cases my school - but the photo was still there on the mantelpiece.

And then Granny died, and you were at the funeral, and I saw you talking to my mother out of the corner of my eye, and the memory came flooding back and I just didn't know what to think.

More time passed.

And then, about a month ago, Granda came for dinner again, like he normally does once a week. But this time, you were one of the conversation topics.

So now I know.

That's a lie. I don't know a DAMNED thing, because I just sat there completely confused until Granda asked me if Jeffrey was 'civil' to me in school - "...He's never spoken to me. Except when he and Laura were bus enemies in third year, then I had to back her up when she argued with him" - and then I began piecing what they said together.

So your wife is a control freak, and doesn't allow the four girls to talk to our family? Or Granda?

I remember once, when Prize Night was in the paper, Granny was all happy because "Two of my grandchildren are in the same photo!" Me and Jeffrey, that is. She'd have loved nothing more than for the family to be together again, that's the kind of person she was, but it NEVER WILL BE because you're not strong enough to stand up to this woman - they even said that you try to fight against her influence! Instead, at the funeral for that very same woman, when everyone was going back to the house after the service, your daughters walked in the front door, out the back, and went to Florence's house. That's a disgrace. And when my mum tried to talk to you about it, you just said that your wife had told them to.

Ugh. I have half a mind to demand answers from someone about how and why this happened - I despise things being kept from me and upsetting a delicate balance is usually fun - but Granda's already broken. And to be honest, I don't care any more. You and your family will always be strangers to me, and I honestly don't know whether it's your fault or hers.

Well. You've made your choice, I suppose, and you're not someone I'll likely ever think about much again.

But Granda knows how much peace in this family would have meant to Granny. And she's all he EVER thinks about. So bury the hatchet before we have to bury him too, or I WILL be speaking to you at that funeral. And I won't be happy. I love my Granda, even if your family doesn't. And I'd like him to die happy. Which sounds morbid, but when you consider he told Florence once that he WANTS to pass on to be with Granny again, it is relevant.

And if you begrudge him that happiness - or your wife, for that matter - then I have nothing more to say.

-Emma