Bring on 2011!

And so my 2010 Highlights blogs come to an end! I am so very sad.

Lady Gaga
Not that I've ever been to many, but this was the best concert of my life! Beforehand was quite fun too - Kerri stealing Claudia's phone then eating a MASSIVE bit of chocolate cake in one bite so that we wouldn't have to pay for dinner, lol! *coughcoughcoughcoughcough*

"We are Semi! Precious! Weapons! Do you like my boots? We are here to introduce you to the one person in the world we love more than ourselves - LAYDEE GA-GA!" Lololol the warm-up band was so very mockable!

I will never forget how we went to the bathroom after that, just before Lady Gaga actually came on. I was at the sink when the girl beside me just turned around and asked, "Do you want some fake blood to put on?" Never before have I been propositioned in such a way!

Then it was time for the GREATEST SHOW EVER! I will admit - I wasn't really sure if I was going to like it, because back then I knew all of Gaga's hits but I wasn't that into her music, and I was worried in case it was a really vulgar show. But I needn't have worried in the slightest! It was amazing in every possible way - her outfits were unbelievable, I really loved the living dress from So Happy I Could Die (even though Claudia and Kerri were both more transfixed by her shoes, but anyway...), the sets were awesome, the dancing was class, her voice is PERFECT live - and when she spoke to us between songs, it was such a good message, which I wasn't entirely expecting either. But I agreed completely - you shouldn't change who you are for anyone else, be proud of who you are because you were born this way! Ever since I have been a massive fan of Lady Gaga - I'm proud to be a little monster because she really is an incredible woman!

Musical
The musical this year was Joseph, or "Jophus" as it was dubbed by Mr Cowan. The soundtrack to it is completely amazing and very random, I love it! This was made better by a really good orchestra this year. Of course, because of an entire week of snow, the rehearsals were WAY behind schedule, but the whole thing went pretty well anyway! As always, I was on lights, which was made difficult by Mr Howes and Mr Cunningham BOTH making impossible requests, Mr Howard being absent, and all of the lights deciding to BREAK.

The box-controlled lights were flickery. The tracker was "pathetic" - quote Mr Cunningham, that's pretty bad. The UVs didn't pick up the sheep. The strobe, which we spent about an hour wiring up (and then knocked over all the scenery) was unused. And the smoke machine failed on one occasion too!

But we got through it, despite more snow at the very end which even managed to get the after-party cancelled, and I really enjoyed my last school musical!

Of course, this was also the period of time when James started his oh-so-cryptic letters. On the Thursday night, knowing that another letter had gone up, we ran outside to find 3G signal so I could look his blog up on my phone and we could read it, then basically had seizures when we found TWO more! And of course we spent the entire show that night speculating about them, it was fun!

Christmas
Christmas this year was... different. Granda was in hospital, so half of Christmas Day was spent there with him - we were only supposed to be there for an hour or so, but then the car wouldn't start due to the cold, and my other Granda had to come up to Newry with jumper cables, which meant we were there for way longer than anticipated. Not the best way to spend any day, let alone Christmas.

But then there was yesterday - that absolutely crazy day when we played Harry Potter Cluedo (and discovered that James has a special bond with mandrakes), baked cookies (and discovered that blue food colouring just doesn't work), and played a LOT of Twister (and discovered that my legs are prone to just seizing up). It was probably the best day of the Christmas holidays, for me! Despite the facebook hacking -_-

There were a few other good points, of course: watching lots of random movies, snow, sledging, getting completely addicted to Degrassi, doing Jordan's Christmas shopping in Newry, and MANY games of foosball - it was all very Christmassy, and just nice! Yay!

New Year's Eve
New Year's Eve was also the first night of Cafe 180 this year - quite a lot of us attended, and I was also scribbling furiously due to my blogging duties! But the big deal was afterwards...

CONTAINER PARTY CHEZ LE CLAUDBECK!

I don't think I'll be forgetting exactly what I was doing at the start of 2011 (watching a poster fall down and talking about, er, stuff), and then basically spending the whole night talking about, er, other stuff. The atmosphere in the container apparently induces openness, and conversation topics that otherwise would never ever be mentioned? At any rate, it was a brilliant night! And I got home at 2, if anyone's wondering >.>

2011
Who knows? But bring it on!

Further 2010 Highlights

Almost done! I considered putting all the rest into one massive post, but I figured it would get boring. Instead, this is a shorter post, and there'll be another short one tomorrow! Then it'll be 2011...

SU Weekend
Every time I think of the SU weekend, the first thing that comes to mind is ADAM'S DRIVING TEST! Aka best photo challenge ever. We created this story at about 3 in the afternoon - that was also the time at which I properly woke up that day, after being rudely awoken an hour early, telling everyone off and apparently frightening them (that made me laugh so much), going back to sleep, and then going around Bow Street Mall half asleep.

To Save A Life! That was such a good movie, Sarah and I were freaking out in case our favourite character died - and he almost did!!! Then our team came second at Cluedo... good enough.

Sleeping arrangements were an interesting factor of the weekend. My airbed deflated more times than could possibly be counted, though it was still one of two ships in a sea of lava... and Adam brought a TENT!

Oh, and Pizza Hut on the last day was brilliant, with everyone having a drinking competition due to the free refills, lol! And then listening to K-Pop the whole way home... in John's car. Still not sure how that happened.

So yeah, in conclusion, the SU weekend was both great craic and really encouraging, such a brilliant experience!

Merlin!!!
Very few people understand my fascination with Merlin, but the fact remains that from September to December, I was completely captivated by it. (We won't mention that at this time Glee was also captivating me illegally, with one episode in particular making me go "!!!", because people might get angry if I wrote spoilers for it.) However, this year Kerri started watching it too! And I think she understands my motivations for watching it. And shares them. Have I ever mentioned that I love Irish accents? Oh, not to mention that I really liked the plot this season, the finale in particular was stunning! But this is obviously irrelevant when one considers GWAINE.

Snow Days
I don't remember ever having snow in November before - let alone enough to get us off school! However, this year we had a massive snowfall, which was also present through most of December, which basically screwed up everyone's lives =D

Let's see: it made me get into a car accident, it kept us off school for about a week in total, it threatened to demolish the musical, and it meant that the hill outside out house turned into the best place to go sledging EVER! Because it was basically just pure ice so we zoomed down at faster speeds than you can possibly imagine! It was such awesome fun that we even kidnapped Jordan one day to play at it some more (after doing lights on our DAY OFF), and she agreed that sledging is fun. Yay! We also went to Spelga. Which was good. And I wore snow boots into school one day, then we got cake because there were so few of us xD

More 2010 Memories

Okay, I have been slacking in my blogging lately... But I am going to try and have all my year's highlights up before Saturday! Here are some more, I think either one or two more posts should cover them all.

English Classes
Going to English classes was one of the best decisions I've ever made. I've made friends with people I never would have met otherwise, I've learned some Polish, throughout the month of March I had a martenitsa around my wrist, and I've been able to actually help people. To put it simply, helping out at English classes is probably the most worthwhile thing I've ever done.

Birthday Party
On first appearances, my birthday party this year wasn't as spectacular as, say, a trip to Belfast. However, it was BRILLIANT. First of all, we went to Newry and saw Alice In Wonderland - mehh. But then, we got back to my house! Claudia and Kerri had made some amazing decorations, consisting of posters which now live with Caspian in my wardrobe and a paper chain of all my favourite things which still hangs over my window! We played the Who Am I game - I remember I was Sue Sylvester and couldn't figure it out at all, lol - we played truth or dare with help from Claudia's iPhone and Kerri had to lick some soap, then we did prank phone calls!

Poor Jordan, she got the 'aeiou' Tempest chant, and some random water (with Kerri yelling she broke my toilet in the background). Someone relevant to Amy was also phoned with water, and there was one other golden phone call made when a thing laughed hysterically and we were having real difficulty keeping quiet!

Then we discovered Sarah's number hadn't been on private. And laughed at her.

April 18th AKA Nico Day
All I have to say is hahahaha him and his six big boys!

September 14th
That day was incredibly fun for two reasons! First of all, it was the Shakespeare workshop - we got to go see Genevieve!!! Even if she didn't see us... It was also the day when Amy decided to get a lift home with me, then when we were driving down Knockchree Avenue Josh's head popped out of my boot! LEGEND.

Shakespeare
Where do I even start?

Anyone who is well acquainted with me should know that the Shakespeare School's Festival was basically my favourite part of the past 3 years. I don't think anyone who's never been onstage can really imagine the sheer thrill of it all, that amazing sense of achievement when it's all over and you know you nailed it, or the amazing sight and sound of a standing ovation like the one we got at the Waterfront this year... it's just unbelievable, and so worth all the work we put into it.

Especially when the work is so enjoyable! The first time we saw the fairy scene done properly I think I got chills, the music for that scene is so gorgeous, too! On that note, I'm so glad Claudbag was there this year too, it just goes to show that we weren't lying when we said it was fun, because we converted her!! And she did so much amazing work for it, it just wouldn't have been the same without her!

Seeing all the scenes evolve was brilliant - for example, the time we decided to try the opening scene with the strobe, then Mr Cowan told us it looked like a scene from a seedy Berlin nightclub ("Why, do you go to them often?"), or the first time I pretended to hit Jason in a sensitive area and everyone thought I had REALLY DONE IT and were shocked at me, and then of course my skirt ripping... twice.

So many memories! Suffice to say that I loved doing it so so much, and I'm really going to miss it next year!

Letter 5

Dear you,

Ever since we got to know each other, for some inexplicable reason you have become one of my favourite people in the world!

Like all friends, we have things in common; in fact, it honestly freaks me OUT how similar we are, because it just should not be logically possible! I mean, we have the exact same taste in books, websites, music, tv shows and even men, we have the same sense of humour, both of us are stalkers, are creative, have obsessive personalities, don't bother much with how we look, are excellent procrastinators and have to force each other to be productive, get attached to people easily, and so the list goes on!

Zipping along now; another reason that our friendship is an odd one is that you know a different side to my personality from other people, almost - or at least, you know things about me that other people don't. At any rate, I feel that I can be totally real with you without you judging me, which is something I am so grateful for.

Just because we've had some serious conversations - including those about your man problems, lol - it doesn't mean that we're just each other's agony aunts, though; my favourite memories involving you are the times when we literally couldn't breathe from laughing, were talking about complete and utter nonsense, and basically just going insane together!

Also, you're one of the only people to whom I can bear to use endearments - probably because you use them so much yourself! Nevertheless, it actually feels more natural than weird when you call me "dear", and vice versa, which is another reason I don't mind it.

Eventually, our friendship is going to wear out - I'm not naive enough to think it'll last forever, even though we can stay in contact more easily now, but I wish it could, because you are without a doubt the rarest, randomest, and most inexplicably close friend I've ever had; even though for obvious reasons you could never ever be one of my best friends.

Love you dear!
-Emma

PS - The clue is in the beginning.
PPS - After I wrote this, I reread it and realised that apart from like one detail, it could conceivably apply to someone else PERFECTLY. Ah well, let's confuse people some more!

Letter 4

Dear you,

You are one of those people whose presence in my life is far from obvious, but I adore you! I honestly can't say that I know that much about you, I don't obsess over you or anything, but from what I have heard, you are such an awesome person! You fight for what you believe in, you somehow manage to be both over-the-top but genuine, and you are incredibly talented. In fact, you are an inspiration to so many people, which is something that I really admire.

I find myself able to relate to your music so much, even though the lyrics are sometimes a bit nonsensical - sometimes the upbeat ones entertain me, sometimes the slower ones calm me, but no matter what my mood, I could listen to your album the whole way through, because there isn't a single song on it that I dislike! In fact, even though I only truly got into your music around Halloween, you are one of my most listened-to artists, which is a pretty big accomplishment considering that I listen to a LOT of music!

However, I don't make it that obvious that I'm a big fan of yours - I know that some of my friends wouldn't approve of you, but whatever. To me, you're a star - keep shining!

From Emma

Letter 3

Dear you,

When we first met, I thought you were shy. Then I thought you hated me. I'm sorry to say I slagged you off quite a bit back then, but I know for a fact that you slagged me off too, so I guess we're even?

But now, I don't know what I'd do without you! I know I can be annoying a lot of the time, but it alleviates some of the boredom/tension. I love when we scheme together, and generally just have a giggle - you would definitely be a Slytherin, and now that I know you better I appreciate that part of your personality more, because quite often it amuses me!

You're such a little contradiction! You have a very sharp tongue but yet somehow still manage to be a genuinely nice person, you work so so hard but you slack off whenever you can - lol I actually think that's my corrupting influence - and even though you have a calm demeanour you have zero tolerance for idiots. And you're so smart! You amaze me with your organisational skills!

Basically, I'm so glad that after a rocky start we somehow managed to become good friends after all, because you are awesome! I don't even know if you even think of me as one of your close friends, and I don't think many others would think of us as close, but you have become one of my favourite people, just because you're you!

From Emma

2010 Highlights Continued

One blogpost to sum up the year would have been of a ridiculous length, so the first one is not the last one. This one is also not the last one, it is only the second one. However, read on to discover more reasons why this year was awesome:

FunFriday
Unarguably the greatest type of Friday ever invented! Even though their original purpose was to watch the Harry Potter movies, because Kerri had never seen them (this is 2009, but it's too epic to leave out: Harry Potter and the Hand Fetish! And then assigning characters - Snape was obvious, but Oliver Wood, Moaning Myrtle and Dobby?!), they turned into Claudia and I going insane. Through them I was introduced to a great many things (a certain mini drama comes to mind *cough*), they were basically just great craic!

Some FunFriday memories:

February 12th was the Camp K-Pop/CD and DVD birthday swap, yay! Haha apparently we tried to learn SHINee that day and couldn't tell the difference between Key and Onew?

April 16th, when we watched Death Note! And then 2 weeks later we watched Death Note 2, and mum called us to dinner 5 minutes before the end and RUINED IT - Kangin faces were not enough to express our displeasure, lol. Apparently that one was actually PhoneFriday! And now I want to watch Death Note again.

For May 7th, I am going to directly quote a paragraph from my diary.
"Anyway, we then relocated downstairs so we wouldn't burn the pizza, then Claudia said "Smells like a pizza house in here!" in a "But you don't need them. You have me now. I am perfect." voice, which made me laugh so hard I literally couldn't stop until I pinched my elbow like in EHB. But then we forgot the exact way she said it! It was just like another "Let's go fishing!" "OKAY!", lol."

We also had a Super Saturday in March, which I am including just so I can mention the army man on the Chinese channel who leaned forwards every couple of words, lolololol! And then there was also the arrival of the Bonamana CD - HIGH NOTES! - when I went out of the room for a moment, and came back in to find Claudia looking incredibly suspicious, but I just shrugged it off. Then later that day she msned me saying "JAEJOONG!" and I had no idea what she was talking about, until mum came in, told me to go to bed, and when I closed all my windows to turn the computer off JAEJOONG WAS STARING AT ME FROM MY BACKGROUND. "Oh, so now you even have them on your computer..." *mum walks away in disgust as somewhere in her evil lair Claudia is cackling away to herself*

Sleepovers
Two sleepovers this year! The first one was at my house at the start of July - Claudia and I watched Breakfast at Tiffany's, and the guy in it looked like Gatsby ("Poor slob without a name!) - and this just made me think "haha Conrad in Death Note, now there's an illusion!", I think that's a random text I got a few days after, what?? - and Harry Potter 6 ("RON RON!"), then Claudia discovered Taemin was young ("No way. No way. NO WAY!"). And she woke me up at 5 to say that SuJu are having some sort of world tour, what?!

Then at the start of August, it was the annual sleepover chez le Claudebag! We watched Sexteplets, I forgot my PAJAMAS, I burnt toast at breakfast, a toastie at lunch and a pizza at dinner, then Jordan and James arrived with a brownie pie and we solved Mrs Manta Ray riddles!

Ok, Claudbag commandeered this post - but there are more memories on the way!

Letter 2

One more for now!

Dear you,

I don't hate you. Just wanted to make that clear. I don't think I could forgive myself if I did dislike you, though.

That's not to say that you make it easy. You can be extremely irritating, and a lot of the time I think you do it on purpose. Oh, and the way you never work - or at least, you seem to waste a lot of your time - is infuriating!

However, you can be very funny sometimes, we actually have quite a similar sense of humour. In some ways I respect you, because you're naturally very gifted even if you don't always make the most of it.

I don't really know what else to say to you, because it's not like we're really good friends; far from it, I don't think that would ever be possible! In fact, you know what's weird? THIS.

From Emma

Letter 1

Now that James has started slacking in his blog posts, I feel that the world needs some more scandal/controversy/chaos. So behold, this post is the first of what may or may not become many cryptic letters of my own! Enjoy... or not.

Dear you,

You are far from the first person who comes to mind when I think of everyone I know, which is why I'm writing to you first. Just to confuse everyone that little bit more. However, I have known you for quite a long time.

Someone once told me that they think you lie a lot. I looked at them in confusion, not having a clue what they were on about, but I'm starting to agree with them. It's in the little things, I don't even know how to describe it, but I definitely think that you at least exaggerate a lot. I don't know if it's pathological or a defense mechanism or if I'm just imagining it, but whatever it is, I really can't stand that about you.

It also really bugs me how when people are joking around, quite often you kind of put a stop to it. I don't know if you just have an underdeveloped sense of humour or you just enjoy sucking everyone else's joy out of the world, but either way you seriously need to lighten up a bit!

However, you are a great person to know. You can actually be really funny in your own way, and you are loyal to your friends, but I don't think I could ever be one of those friends because I don't know if I could ever fully trust you. I know, it's awful, isn't it? But it's the truth. I really don't think we'll stay in touch in the future, so I thought I'd better say this now - good luck! Because despite your faults - well, you wouldn't be human without them - I do still really like you as a person, and I honestly hope that everything works out for you!

From Emma

SCANDAL

So today I just so happened to stumble upon a letter Jordan wrote... I thought this is something that should be shared with my loyal readers. SCANDAL SCANDAL SCANDAL!!!

Hey honey,

Just wanted to say that I'm really glad we had that fling! For me, it was definitely the best part of the Scotland trip. I think you're perhaps my one true love, I certainly wouldn't want to cheat on Peter with anyone but you!

I could sit for hours listing the things I love about you... your eyes, your smile, the way the room lights up for me when you walk in, the loving way in which you tell me to "calm down", the fact that you're female just like me, HICKEYS, all our fishing trips together, and basically everything about you, from your eyebrow to your toenails!

However, I think that our budding romance has come to a temporary end. For now, we must become star-crossed lovers who simply gaze at each other from afar, at opposite sides of the library, not even meeting for secret trysts in the maths store. Some day, we shall be together again, but until then we will only be together in our hearts.

Eternally yours, my love.
Jordan xxx

SO EVERYONE, WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS OUTRAGEOUS SCANDAL?!?!

Adieu, 2010!

I have now been on blogger for almost a year, gasp! That year just so happened to be 2010, so it feels rather appropriate to dedicate a blog post to the year. Thanks to my diary (a Christmas present from Claudbag), I have a complete record of the year, so here are my highlights, handily categorised for your convenience:

Holidays
I know no one really wants to hear about these, but I had to include them! However, I'll make it short.

I wasn't the best year for holidays - mum snapping her cruciate ligament while skiing was technically 2009, but still. France and Switzerland in July were wonderful, though, I love the Alps! The Bournemouth Air Festival was also one of the coolest days ever, and Lanzarote at Halloween was so relaxing - I love how both a Dublin gangster and a minor footballer were staying at our hotel, lol. But holiday of the year HAS to go to London for sheer awesomeness: meeting up with Erica ("cotching!"), going to see Wicked, talking to the Asian magician - it was just incredible, one of the best experiences I've ever had!

Belfast
Yay, Belfast! It's one of the only places around here to which you can have a proper outing, and for me, there were 3 memorable Belfast trips this year.

First of all, there was the time in January, when Claudia, Kerri and I had one of our random days out. We saw Avatar, I left my gloves on the bus then almost left the Merlin calendar I had just bought in Cruise, and we danced Sorry Sorry at Claudia's Uncle Gordon's house! It was such a random fun day!

Then there was the time we went after the exams in June, and we saw Prince of Persia! And discovered that at some point, Jake Gyllenhaal got hot! That trip can be summarised in 3 quotes: "Look Emma, a cat! Meow." "It's pourin' outside... Eunhyuk would be happy." "I keep wanting to baps people in here - it's like my addiction to the grabby machines!"

The we-are-back-to-school-but-off-again-because-now-we're-U6-and-therefore-awesome Belfast trip in September was just brilliant! Going to the museum (when we were in the art section: "I feel like I'm in Death Note!" "Except it would be 'PAULINA PAULINA'! Or 'LAVALAMPO'!"), getting posters for the common room, discovering Café Arirang, walking past Conradstopher, and not being able to play Countdown in TGI Friday's because the waiter didn't bring us crayons, aww!

Newcastle
Such a random place, but so many good memories this year! Again, three main trips there stand out.

The first time, we went to Mauds, where Jordan made a strange concoction out of hot chocolate, milk/malk, tea, chocolate cake, sugar, cherries, salt, and a LOT of pepper. Which tasted predictably disgusting. Then we went to Claudia's house for tea and I got a curfew! FAIL.

At the end of August, there was one day when we were almost all in Newcastle, we were at the amusements for ages and Jordan found some 89p stickers on the ground! Ha when we stuck them on Claudia's Irregular Choice bag she almost had a seizure! Then we went to my house and played taboo for ages - this was the occasion when we discovered a penny-farthing can only ever be ridden by old men in top hats with handlebar mustaches, New York is in fact a place in New York, Claudia does not need a parachute and she likes to shake those dice! And then we hacked Jordan's facebook, oh gosh that was priceless - in a complicated relationship with her brother! Lololol.

Then halfway through September, we had another Newcastle experience - sitting on a bench trying to persuade Sarah to go to Winemark as an experiment, then the guy staring at us, meeting Adrian in KFC, getting brownies, doing laps, freaking out when the drunk guy who had been fighting across the street started walking across the road towards us and we couldn't figure out how to lock the doors, dancing all the way home and then running over a ghost... that was a pretty legendary evening!

To be continued...

Poor Blog Without An Update

If you were wondering, the title was a terrible attempt at rewriting a quote from Breakfast At Tiffany's.

So I have not written a blog post in a while. This is not a blog post, or at least not a real one. That's not to say it's an imaginary one, it just means that it's not very exciting.

However! By the end of the year I will have written an account of the year's highlights, all thanks to my diary! I don't know how I used to not write a diary, that must have been weird.

Oh, and James's letters are driving me insane with guessing - YES, ALREADY - and giving me the urge to write more letters because I did very much so enjoy the letter meme.

(If you're curious, I know who number 1 of James's letters was because it was OBVIOUS, I'm almost certain I know who number 2 is, I have a theory about number 3, I'm not sure about number 4 and I have NO IDEA about number 5!)

UPDATE: Apparently I was wrong about number 2, but right about 3 and 4? (Not that I've got any straight answers!) Life is complicated...

Metamorphosis

To be honest, at first I barely even wanted to go to the Prefect's Disco - last year wasn't that great, and getting a costume seemed like so much effort!

Then I realised that I only had a week left to put together a costume, and given how full my to-do list was anyway, that inspired a bit of panic.

Then I discovered James was going as Ursula. Since that's going to be the most amazing costume ever, I figure it's worth going to the disco to see it. So at that point, I wanted to go, needed a costume, and was panicking more. Well no, not really panicking. More like acknowledging the fact that that could be a problem. I don't really panic in general...

But that's going off on a tangent (just like Jordan's punny personal statement).

So by now I actually have a costume! I'm going to be Jasmine from Aladdin!

Although, truth be told, my outfit doesn't look anything like that, it's just Arabic. Sort of.

Oh, and I need some sort of hairband thing, preferably elastic. And some blue eyeshadow. But I mostly have a costume now, so... yay?

PS - I'm bringing a magic carpet, not a bird.

Another One Of Those Copycat Posts

Since everyone's been writing about their exam timetables, I thought I'd jump on the bandwagon. Just to get the whining out of the way: I HATE THIS, NOW I CAN'T GO SEE GLEE ARGHHH!

Other than that, can't complain! No seriously, it's pretty good, if inhibiting, stretched out and containing too many exams (9 counting French speaking, which will be a week or two beforehand, but the number of exams is entirely my fault so I actually don't mind).

18th May: English Lit 1
23rd May: English Lit 2
1st June: Maths (C4)
8th June: Statistics
13th June: Maths (C3)
17th June: French (Written)
21st June: Physics 2
27th June: Physics 1

In other words, the closest ones are still 4 days apart, all my subjects are together unless you count the French oral, and English is out of the way first. WITH A BREAK AFTERWARDS! I never thought I'd be this lucky (apart from the Glee thing, which I'm now more bitter about because we've finished that Physics module so if I was sitting it in January WE WOULD NOT HAVE THIS PROBLEM).

I still don't know what I'm doing for the Prefect's Disco. In fact, I'm considering making fioding a costume one of my top priorities. It was at the bottom of my to-do list before, so that's quite a step up.

Um. That is all.

DILEMMA

As Claudbag already blogged, Glee is coming to DUBLIN!!! Actually, she found out through me, and I was super excited myself.

Then I discovered that I CAN'T GO.

The Dublin dates are the 2nd and 3rd of July. So I told mum Glee's coming - she was like great, that sounds fun. Then we realised that we're going on holiday. On the SECOND. So there is no chance of me going with everyone else, arghhhhhhh!

BUT THEN - this is why I love my parents - she asked if there were any England dates before that, maybe we could go over then. I happen to know that THERE ARE.

Of course, in all likelihood I'll have my Statistics exam that day. Another reason for me to hate the subject.

She meant that we could go over as a family to see it (which doesn't entirely make sense seeing as I'm the only one who really watches it, I mean Adam watched most of the second half of last season but mum and dad have only seen like one episode), but... is anyone else up for an after-exams trip?

That is, assuming Stats doesn't get in the way ;)

(I was going to do the Claudia bolding favourites thing as well, then I decided quite firmly against that. Bad Idea. I also feel the need to gloat that I know who the last 2 people on the list are!)

UPDATE: The London dates are the 25/26th of June. One of my Physics exams is the 27th of June. In other words, if I get going to the Glee tour at all I will be amazed more than I have ever been amazed before in my life.

Lanzarote &c

Dear world of bloggering, greetings. It's been a while. I think. It's been over a week. That's quite a while, right?

With regard to the title: &c = etc; I learnt that this week because reading is good, in fact in the past week I have read 4 books, which now that I think about it were all different genres, that's minorly impressive. (Shadow Wave - action; Pride and Prejudice - classic romance; Sleeping Arrangements - chick lit; Alexandria - historical comedy/murder mystery - just in case you were wondering)

I'm currently rather angryish. This probably has something to do with post-holiday blues (but probably not very much, I don't seem to be suffering from that much this time), something to do with things which we do not discuss (but other people do)(try and work that one out)(on second thought just don't)(no, it's not anything bad, don't be ridiculous)(well, it is bad, but not in any normal sense of the word)(ENOUGH), something to do with the urge to strangle, something to do with getting a lecture, and everything to do with the fact that I don't appreciate getting a massive English research project to do. Especially when relevant information for it is so (I love gummy bears) difficult to find! Arghhhhh.

On a brighter note, I can now say that I know for certain that I get my stalking skills from my mother (who was acting like an overexcited teenage girl earlier this week), I can make her jealous by saying that I was [technically] swimming with a footballer, I have seen an ex-gangster jump because of - of all things - a fake spider, I have become a dance teacher, and I have a new favourite singer! Oh, and my k-pop obsession is 95% dead. As in, there remain a few songs which I love and a few other loose ends, but apart from that, all that remains is a hint of nostalgia. But it lasted a year, that's a LONG obsession!

I need to go and do this infernal English project, why am I blogging? GOODBYE.

I want some chocolate

*some MORE chocolate

(wait no, it's almost dinnertime, don't be an idiot)

What's this? I wrote a poem without a rhyme scheme?!

Ok, so poetry is definitely hard to write. I have a poem all written. It's not very good - very disjointed, doesn't make any sense at all unless you know the exact mindset with which I wrote it, and the end seems inconclusive. Though then again... the disjointed manner with which it's written reflects the turmoil of the thoughts of anyone going through that situation, the inconclusive end matches how their dilemma is ongoing, and to be honest I'm quite glad that the subject isn't clear.

Now, let me get one thing straight. The subject does NOT directly apply to me. It's just something that's kind of been on my mind. Why? No idea. But I know for a fact that very few, if any, of my friends could have written that poem.

Because it's such a screwed up situation - I don't really want people misinterpreting it and applying it to me wrongly; or possibly worse, interpreting it correctly and applying it to me (though saying that makes me a total hypocrite) - I may have to write another one. Ugh. Too much poetry.

So because I know I'll get shot if I don't put it up after all that, here is my titleless poem:

When trust and loyalty turn to dust,
Everything erased in just one day;
When life collapses, spirals down,
Can you say it’s worth it?

Truth or lies, trust or hide.
Is it easier to live in fear?

Sheltered behind the mask,
Seduced by conformity,
The outcast’s life still beckons.

What if that could set you free?

Judging, faceless shadows wait;
You know you’d win their scorn.
Terror overwhelms you;
Your secrets yours alone remain.

And on another note, I am DYING of the cold.

L-L-L-LOADING

I haven't been blogging very much lately, which is disgraceful.

First of all, Shakespeare! I have to say that A Midsummer Night's Dream was the best experience of my life - yes, there are four people who have said that it wasn't as good as last year, but having watched the DVD of last year a few weeks ago, I can say with some certainty that this year's was better - it just meshed together and flowed so much better. Not to mention that everyone else I've spoken to has said it was better!

Then it was the SU weekend! It was so brilliant! The photo challenge was just HILARIOUS, we had so much fun doing that! Even if it was a rather morbid theme...

I was also really challenged the whole time - judging others is something that's been on my mind for a while now, that whole issue really challenged me yet again on the weekend. And accountability, definitely.

Richard III last night wasn't as good as I was hoping, to be honest - I did love the nightmare and the crazy battle scene though. I wouldn't be surprised if I saw one or both of them again next year at the Waterfront, especially if they end up doing Macbeth...

And now I have to write a poem. Dear mind, please be inspired. At the moment you're NOT. That sucks.

What a dull blog post. I should go write a poem/personal statement. I probably won't, though. Ah well.

Wrath Of The Sea

So this is my second blog post of the evening. The first got deleted. Too personal. I knew I was going to delete it when I posted it. You may still be able to see the first few lines on your dashboard, if you're following me.

So this one has a few very vague similarities.

In fact, this one will be short. Very short.

Stop it. Everyone just stop it. I know that I'm not innocent of all blame, but am I the only one who's noticed what the consequences are?!

Lies, backstabbing, hatred, rifts, judging... it's all built up until all that's left is loneliness. Maybe not for you, if you're reading this. Maybe not for me.

But when I'm literally at a loss for words, because there is NO way to make something right, it's gone too far. I hate feeling so helpless. Confrontation might be bad, but maybe we need it. Or at least to talk.

HONESTLY, that is.

awesome song right here

This Is What Happens When My Brain Is Poked

So I'm typing and I have no idea what's going to happen in this blog post, so this could be interesting or just really really dull...

First of all, stripping in English, that was so so funny, I NEVER thought I'd see the day when Mr Cowan would blush!

Sarah's dyed her hair ginger, and I haven't seen it yet! Also, I almost wrote that she'd "died", but if she did that would be a DISASTER because then we wouldn't know who she wrote to, that would be no fun, unless we could persuade Jordan to tell us. I suppose I could always threaten Jordan to tell me or else I'll tell everyone where she put her blog, but she might not take kindly to that, then I'd be the one who'd died! Bad times. Death isn't fun, I know from experience as Mrs Past.

Hmm, I wonder what makes a good blog post for the few who actually read this thing... The cryptic ones are definitely the most fun to write, and the least fun to read, for me at least. I like reading ones that make me laugh!

So to fulfill the required cryptic element of the blog: awww recs are harder than stories, I don't HAVE anything to rec! This could get difficult very quickly... Bad new rule. But I guess it could be fun?

Lol good luck understanding THAT. Even the person (you know who you are) who is a RIDICULOUSLY good stalker shouldn't be able to understand that. Kekeke.

I'm going to create a list of things to do before DE(A)TH.
-Go to the World Expo! It looks amazing!!!
-Travel the world, how cliché.
-Possibly write a book or something, that'd be fun if I was capable of finishing it instead of procrastinating my own death.
-Learn to dance. At least passably, at the moment it's just embarrassing!

I can add more later, that'll do for now.

On another note, mum just came in and I opened another tab so she wouldn't notice blogger, then she made me show her how facebook works, that WAS NOT WORTH IT. Why so nosy/lecturous lately?! Argh.

I had a really fun conversation with Hermine today, what's up with that?! Normally it's dead awkward and I'm wishing the period would go by faster, but it was dead on today, that's really odd.

I think Kerri and I need to make plans for next Sunday. Saturday is obviously out due to Board Game Night, but after that preview... something tells me she'd be upset to miss it, I KNOW I WOULD BE.

I should go to bed early. I probably won't, but at least I have good intentions, right?

Secrets

Everybody has secrets. And to be perfectly honest, I think secrets are great fun.

There are the secrets that are all yours - "We should pick out of a hat!" Haha that's so... ambiguous, but at least we were being very productive (...kekeke)!

Then there are the ones that aren't entirely secret, but are something that you share with just a few friends - "...How are you?" "FABULOUS."

Then there are the ones that are very secretive indeed because if people found out it would lead to death!!!! - "You know what's weird? THIS."

Then there are the secrets from years back, that aren't yours to tell. When you know something, about someone you don't know that well, that you never had the right to find out. Or at least you think you know, even if you're not sure.

There are the secrets that you will not divulge, even if it's not that important, even under pressure, because you don't want to break the trust that you've only just managed to win back.

There are those that seem innocuous, but when you hear the whispers, you realise how much pain they're hiding in what goes unsaid.

And then there are the ones which we guess at for half an hour and are met with a stony, killjoy-type silence. This is the infuriating type of secret, the one that is just a bit of fun but hidden away anyway. It's so mean to take that fun away from us, don't you agree?

Yes, Sarah Louise Bolton, I AM LOOKING AT YOU.

That is all!

(What. You weren't expecting me to actually TELL any secrets, were you?)

"Sworn under an oath..."

Ironically, the title of this post is the only line I can properly make out from my current favourite song. But it also sums this up pretty well.

Firstly, I MISSED MERLIN LAST NIGHT THAT'S UPSETTING. But it's recorded and I'm going to go watch it once I'm finished writing this ^_^

Secondly, I have come to the conclusion that loyalty is far too rare these days.

I am so, so sick of the way everyone seems to talk behind everyone else's back at every opportunity. I am so sick of the way that sometimes it feels like I'm being asked to choose sides, even though by all appearances each side is an ally of the others. And I'm sick of the way everyone judges without knowing the whole story.

And I am so aware that this is hypocritical. Everyone does it, myself included. But now I just can't take it any more.

I'm not usually a protective person. Normally I lean towards the 'take care of yourself' philosophy. But maybe that's the change that's made me realise how two-faced people can be.

What infuriates me the most is that no one else seems to notice, or if they do, they mustn't care. Maybe it's because everyone wears a mask, whether they realise it or not, because everyone cares about what other people think, whether they realise it or not. And some people's masks are more convincing than others. Sometimes it's hard to tell when someone's suffering.

But everyone suffers.

And I don't care any more.

If I haven't made it clear enough already, I'm not going to take sides over this. For one thing, I keep my promises. And for another thing, when I know someone I care about is suffering, I'm going to try and help.

Maybe you don't know. But if you did, would you care? Or do prejudice and annoyance stand in your way too much?

"Her nimble fingers still feel the cold"

Every year, this happens. I become a really sad person and totally fall in love with rehearsals for Shakespeare.

I don't even know, it's just so much FUN! People messing up their lines - "Demetrius slept with Helena!" - and getting cake, and standing in for absent people (here I refer to James pretending to be Kerri, not Colonel Regimond standing in for me XD), and seeing scenes that were originally kinda crap suddenly become awesome!

The highlight of today was definitely starting to figure out ideas for the upcoming catfight scene! The first time they lifted me I freaked out so much, I wasn't BALANCED and then they lifted me even higher, I thought I was gonna fall on my head! But actually that bit is going to be ridiculously fun, if a little painful, hehe.

Also amusing was everyone's shock when it turned out I actually had a pillow and blanket hidden in my deceptively small bag! Ok no, that bag's big, but it doesn't look quite THAT big.

Jason trying to shake James off his leg was just hilarious and brilliant. And now we have a donkey's head! Good job.

Finally, the fairies! That scene is going to look AMAZING once they get it fine-tuned! And costumes and stuff, obviously. And I absolutely love the music for that scene! I downloaded it earlier - it kind of sounds like something you'd hear from Two Steps From Hell, it has echoes of Eria or Atlantis. So so pretty and haunting, but they get the menace across as well. I love that I get to watch it ^^

Sorry to any followers of my blog who want to stab me now, Shakespeare can be a touchy subject... but I love it, because I'm just a big nerd like that =P

A Blogger Blog

Everyone is joining blogger! Kind of glad I've been here so long, I can't be accused of being the copycat. Well, I did steal meme ideas from Claudia, and I wouldn't have made this if she hadn't first, but THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

I'm liking that there are so many more updates on my dashboard now, it makes for something to read every day. On the other hand... do I like that more people are reading this or not? At any rate, I spent a couple of months writing in it, assuming that only a couple of people who I'd actually given the link would be able to find it, and read it. So I was slightly too open, I think... On some of the older ones, anyway. But I do like people being able to read what I write, it gives me purpose. And I do love writing.

Also, EVERYONE should do that letter meme. It's amazingly fun. I know of 3 people currently doing it, 2 people who have finished it, 1 person thinking of doing it... and 1 person who's given up on it. Lol.

On a completely different note, SU today was an interesting experience. I haven't been in what feels like forever! Sadly we did too many laps to get there in time for the good food, aww. And hmm. For half of it I was paying absolute attention, focused completely on the sincerity that was making me feel so guilty. The other half, my attention wandered away, because it felt like the sincerity was gone. It WASN'T, but I don't know. I just couldn't, wouldn't focus. So I just gave up.

Ok this is a really fail post. I don't like it at all. I think Sarah and James have stolen all my ability to write =/

Storytime!

So in this post there are a lot of things I could talk about. I could describe the trip to the black box theatre, and how, somehow, no one else seemed to notice when of all the wrong names Jason could have said, he came out with "Stacey" during that name game. I could whine about the maths homework I had to do to catch up on a missed double today (no idea what we did in stats and as for French, I'm just very confused). Or, I could spaz about how much I love Two Steps From Hell, because I love them more than I usually do today.

BUT NO!

Today it's time for a story.

So, after we got home from the workshop, I popped into the common room to get maths. There I encountered Amy Grace, and offered to give her a lift home. So we walk out to my car... I get in straight away, but she takes an awfully long time. At first, I think this is because she's putting her stuff in the boot, but no, she gets in without closing the boot, and still has her stuff. And she's giggling. And John's lurking behind the car... I conclude that John must have opened the boot in some sort of practical joke failure, it being a failure because when I stare at him confusedly out the back window he just laughs and closes it for me. Mentally shrugging, I close my door and start rummaging for my glasses. I really hate driving without them, I feel like I can't see properly and am going to crash ahhh. It's upsetting.

THEN. I hear a laugh that's neither mine, Amy's, nor John's, and as far as I can see no one else is near enough to my car for me to be able to hear them so clearly...

At this point I realise there is SOMEONE IN THE BOOT OF MY CAR.

Amy notices my realisation and immediately whispers to me "Start the car and reverse a bit, just to freak him out!" I'm very amused by now, so I do this, never mind that my bag's perched precariously on my lap, I haven't found my glasses yet and I haven't even put my seatbelt on!!

There's a squeak from the boot. Giggling, I reverse the rest of the way out. More squeaks and a slight thud.

John's standing against his own car with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face (such a poser), but once I've reversed out the whole way he starts to walk over. I think he must be going to let my stowaway out... but no... he gestures for me to put my window down. I do, and he whispers, so my poor stowaway can't hear, "Drive down to the bottom of Knockchree Avenue, you can let him out there." Because there's someone across from me wanting out, I aquiesce to this demand, quickly find my glasses, put my seatbelt on, and DRIVE.

So then my poor stowaway really starts to freak out. I get out the school gates in one piece, but feel like I've forgotten how to drive - I turn round the island in the middle of Knockchree Avenue without indicating, whoops. Then again, people forget to do that all the time, and most of them don't have their attention torn between the road and the rearview mirror, in which Josh's head has just appeared.

So then I'm driving down Knockchree Avenue, and I can see James, Mark, and Mark's little sister (incidentally, before this I didn't know what she looked like!) in the car behind, looking slightly puzzled. Or maybe that's my imagination, because the situation was surreal enough that everything was puzzling for me at that moment in time.

Josh is now practically wrestling with the - lid? what do you call that thing? - of my boot, and complaining that it won't move to let him out. This is distracting.

He eventually wins this battle, and literally ROLLS over the top of the seats in the back, and sits down. I have no idea how I managed to not crash the car from laughing too hard.

The three of us then have a frantic discussion about WHAT DO WE DO WITH HIM NOW. Is he going to Mark's house?! After Josh waves at them enthusiastically we phone the people in the car behind (well, I don't, they do, I'm still driving, mostly) to find out, but no he isn't. Then we realise he had an SU thing, so it's ok that he's missed the bus. Then we realise my car has no back doors! Or at least, we realise this is a problem if we want to let Josh out at the bottom of Knockchree Avenue.

However, it is quickly solved! Amy Grace jumps into the back and Josh skillfully manouvers himself out. We bid him farewell, and Amy Grace climbs back into the front, asking as she does so if I mind her standing on my seats (I don't, I do it practically every time I need into the back, which is practically never anyway) and muttering to herself about how ladylike and graceful that was. Amy Grace amuses me.

And I just realised that concludes my story! (I won't include the part where I almost reverse into a tree at Amy Grace's house.)

Why? and How? seem like appropriate questions right now

Ok. So I'm being a good girl and doing my homework. After wanting to die I finally got all of my Physics out of the way. I start into French and think ughhhh this is a horrible homework make it stop, but after what, 5 minutes, I stop complaining because it turns out that when you're learning things that you probably should know about your own country BUT IN FRENCH it's actually kind of interesting. Who'd have thought it?

Then as I'm writing out this thing about L'immigration en Irlande du Nord I realise that I don't know the translation for 'Middle East', and I don't trust the translation google gives me. I go to French wikipedia, look up Pakistan (which, it turns out, is actually classified as Southern Asia, whoops), scroll to the bottom and click on the expandable thingy to see all the different parts of Asia. Ok, 'Middle East' = 'Moyen Orient', google was right, yay! Then, under East Asia, I see a link for Corée du Sud.

Obviously I clicked on it, it's not like I have more willpower than curiosity, but will someone please explain to me WHY Korean culture is even more interesting when written in French??? And why I feel a sense of achievement every time I see a word - Korean word, that is - that I recognise?

And most importantly, WHY AM I NOW HAVING THE URGE TO LEARN MANDARIN CHINESE THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE-

ni hao, wo shi emma, wo ai ni! (shut up I don't understand pinyin, so no tones)

ooooooh and lookie! (crap crap crap I didn't realise google translate would do THAT, is that my name I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO WRITE IT, someone make it stop I still haven't finished this French thing and I have other things to dooooooooo) Ok no still LOOK:

你好，我是艾玛，我爱你

So pretty! And I can write (most of) that! ^^ /shot

Is That A Man Or A Woman?!

Aujourd'hui, j'écris en français. J'ai besoin de le practiquer.

Deux choses. D'abord, j'adore Bonjour tristesse! Je viens de commencer le lire, et je le trouve très agréable, j'aime bien le style avec qui François Sagan ecrit.

Mais aussi, j'écris en ce moment parce que pour moi, c'est un moyen d'évasion. Je ne sais pas pourquoi, je ne comprend pas pourquoi, mais ce soir, la tristesse m'a trouvé. Ce n'était pas un jour affreux, pas du tout, mais je sens très découragé maintenant.

Donc, je voudrais dire simplement que je suis d'accord avec l'auteur - oui, la tristesse est un sentiment completement égoïste.

Et maintenant, un poème.

Adieu tristesse
Bonjour tristesse
Tu es inscrite dans les lignes du plafond
Tu es inscrite dans les yeux que j'aime
Tu n'es pas tout à fait la misère
Car les lèvres les plus pauvres te dénoncent
Par un sourire
Bonjour tristesse
Amour des corps aimables
Puissance de l'amour
Dont l'amabilité surgit
Comme un monstre sans corps
Tête désappointée
Tristesse beau visage.

Non, je ne l'ai pas écrit.

Abnormal? Why Yes I Am.

1) I apparently have a stalker and it amuses me.

2) I am developing a liking for French grammar, WHY.

3) I managed to forget I had a sore throat by LAUGHING. Really hard. You'd think that would be counterproductive.

4) Jane Eyre < The Illusionist

5) I am female. I hate cleaning. And sappy movies.

Okay enough of this nonsense. Midsummer Night's Dream is going to be so much fun, though if we can get through the workman scenes before the workshop without laughing it'll be a miracle! They are just pure genius!

That is all (apart from that today was dull)

Sick =(

Today I am feeling a tad under the weather. I think someone's filled my head with sawdust.

To say this is unpleasant would be both obvious and an understatement.

I missed the Queens Open Day today, that's not so great considering I might, you know, WANT TO GO THERE SOMEDAY. But I suppose it's better than missing a proper day of school and having a pile of homework to catch up on. And at least I've been round it a few times before, too.

Kyaaa I feel sleepy.

Several interesting things have happened of late: we've started reading Jane Eyre in English and I kind of like it more than The Illusionist - I think because its tone is less depressing - and I was happily reading it in the library when my eyes suddenly came to the word "effluvia" and then I giggled to myself - I have since looked it up, it means 'noisome vapour'. That's so random, why the flipper is it in TWO books I've read in the past month??

James found this thing last night and was stalking me reading it; him I don't mind, but that's really really not good, that means other people can find it too! Oh dear dear dear. BUT, he said he liked my writing style! That made me SO happy, because writing is one of my greatest loves - when procrastination skills don't prevent it - and to hear that I'm actually kind of good at it meant so much to me.

Claudia... interesting things happened there. *does not elaborate*

electronic manic supersonic bionic energy~ BoA is awesome, LOVE Hurricane Venus right now! Game too!

Yay this is cheering me up, I felt all depressed before and now not so much!

Hmm, I kind of want some chocolate. Are you allowed to eat chocolate when you're sick? Why am I even asking, I ate enough of it yesterday to prove that I don't really care.

On another note I finished a THING yesterday! Or at least one of the parts of the thing. And now it's no longer my turn!!! Yay!

I love emails a large amount. Emails are fun, they let me keep in contact with people when tis difficile, they're very underrated.

Internet is being screwy, do not approve. TWICE now we've had to unplug the router just to get it to connect properly! On one hand, at least we know how to fix it, on the other hand WHYYYY.

Ooh I don't feel as sick now! Yay ^_^ Maybe thinking of silly things to write about made my brain work, and then brain returning to my head got rid of some of the sawdust! Cool beans.

Vanilla Twilight is such a relaxing song <3

Physics yesterday was so much fun!!! I do kind of love Physics, I hope I don't hate it too much this year... But yeah, getting drunk/beer goggles was hilarious! Stumbling about, trying to play ten pin bowling, and throwing balls back and forth, BRILLIANT.

I also hope I don't hate stats too much.

I will probably hate English a lot.

I could NEVER hate French, I like Bonjour Tristesse already, WWII French perspective sounds fun, multicultural society is already fun... but ugh environment, that IS a bit rubbish.

Mrs Keown's maths will be amazing as always, Peter trying (and failing) to make friends with Naomi amused me SO MUCH on Tuesday!

Midsummer Nights Dream better be good, the workmen scenes are obviously gonna steal the show - the only fun thing I get to do really is pretty much tell John "NO I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU." Haha how do ours always turn out so rude XD

Ohhh one of the blogs I stalk got updated!!!! Yay! Royalty obsession much, lol? Not that I disapprove, though. Also, giggling right now:

“Your tone was insolent,”
“No, my tone was dry,”
“Perhaps some water would help,”
“No, dear, not that kind of ‘dry’.”

asdhjakshdas So that's why I stalk!!! Fluff is good. Cracky fluff is better, it makes me feel all giddy inside.

MERLIN IS BACK ON SATURDAY :D

Claudiabean appears to have an ebay addiction, oh dear dear dear.

The letter I got today was so sad! It upset me. But it was so nice. I just feel really bad. I'm sorry. I kind of want to give you a hug now, though I know that wouldn't be very well received.

I meant to fix my momentum slide and learn my French vocab today. #fail

OH MY GOODNESS. (Oh my SOUL!) Someone is being emo. It is annoying.

This is fragmented, and no longer coherent, and long enough! But suffice to say that I feel way better than when I started writing it, both physically and emotionally.

-In fact, right at this second, the combination of reading beautiful fiction and listening to beautiful music is making my heart swell in happiness. I feel so at peace.

Rant

Anger anger anger.

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!

Arghhhhhhhhh.

You are being so awkward, and so ridiculous. What, so things aren't going to be exactly as you want them to be so you just leave? You're sulking. Like you're five frigging years old. Grow up.

Or maybe you're lying about your excuse. It wouldn't be the first time. Don't think I didn't find it suspicious last year that every single time without fail, you were busy, or felt sick, or something came up at the very last minute. I'm sure it was just a coincidence, though.

Ok so you've changed your mind AGAIN. You are so unreliable and contradictory, and I am SO sick of it.

I hate how it's so impossible to get you to make your mind up.

I hate how you can be so selfish, and how everything has to be on your terms.

I hate how you expect us to put up with all your crap.

And most of all, I hate how it's impossible to stay mad at you. It's like trying to be angry with a child who doesn't know what it's doing wrong. You'll be forgiven soon, probably tomorrow, in fact. But right now? I am SO angry with you.

Day 30 - Your Reflection In The Mirror

Dear Reflection,

Hello. I see you quite often.

You have a pretty forgettable face. No remarkable features, except maybe the big nose (as pointed out by Claudia). Decent skin, which is nice, I quite like my eyes, hair that grows dreadfully slowly. You rarely wear make-up, something which contributes to the fact that you can easily pass for 14, a handy little trick for getting reduced rates, sometimes! And I'm happy with my body, good genes are a good thing. Even if I'm a tad short, lol.

You smile. It's gummy. You smile again, trying to prevent the gumminess. It looks fake.

Sometimes, you don't look quite the same. Sometimes I'm completely ecstatic, and can't wipe the smile off my face. Sometimes I just can't stop laughing. Sometimes I'm incredibly upset, and actually crying. Sometimes I'm so angry that it shows.

But usually, you look exactly the same. Is it a bad thing that I've become so good at hiding the times when I'm vibrating with tension, when I'm kind of depressed for no good reason, or when I kind of want to kill something a little bit?

You look quite innocent. Apparently, there are many people who think I'm innocent. This amuses me more than it should.

You actually look kind of shy. Your normal expression isn't really very friendly, either. No wonder people don't go out of their way to talk to you.

One thing you have DEFINITELY mastered is the art of looking like you're listening. Occasionally, your eyes glaze over, but normally if you're daydreaming it doesn't actually show. Which is a very good thing.

Actually, you look like any other normal person. But you definitely don't live in this world. Not most of the time, anyway.

You are the part of me that everyone sees. They judge me on you. And my words and actions. They don't judge me on what goes on in my head. I think that you sum me up, without ever giving too much away. I'm happy with my reflection. You are a part of me. And I am happy with me.

-Emma

Day 29 - The Person That You Want To Tell Everything To, But Are Too Afraid To

Dear Person,

Originally, this letter was very angry.

I'm no longer angry. I no longer wonder why we seem to be so close, when really there's a massive gap between us. Because it doesn't feel like that gap's there any more.

Maybe it is. But at the moment, I don't see it.

That doesn't mean I'm going to open up, though. Yes, you're less judgemental than my other friends, in some ways, and yes, you have more knowledge and experience of certain things. But the thing is that I DO know you. I know that you're not as perfect as you're sometimes seen as. I know that you're not always totally honest. Most importantly, I know that so often, you don't listen when it matters most.

It's not that I'm mad at you. It's not that I have no confidence in you. But if I know that you'd never tell me things in return, then I don't see the point in making this friendship unequal.

-Emma

Day 28 - Someone That Changed Your Life

Dear God,

I don't know who I'd be today if I didn't know you. Sometimes the thought of how different I could be scares me. Sometimes the thought that I'd be exactly the same scares me even more.

I know that I can always turn to you when I'm in need, even though so often I don't. I know that you have given me so much, even though so often I take it for granted. I know that each day you're changing me to be more like you, even though sometimes it feels like I'm no different.

I've known you all my life - you were always present, because both my parents were Christians, and we live in an area with such heavy Christian influence - though with all the sectarianism and intolerance, that's not entirely a good thing, especially when it's basically created a society of extremes, Christians vs atheists, Protestants vs Catholics, and I really hate those divides - that it was inevitable that I had some idea of you. Of course, knowing of you and actually knowing you personally are two very different things, but I became a Christian when I was 8 years old, and have never regretted it since.

That's not to say I don't struggle. For several years - um, third year, fourth year and fifth year, I think? Maybe not third year, actually - I started having serious doubts that you existed. I don't even know, I was just feeling so cynical or something, but with your help, I fought back against those doubts, and this past year I haven't really had any of those atheistic notions.

Temptation is always a big struggle. Sometimes more than others.

But I know that you're always there for me, ready to help me fight back against those temptations, forgive me when I stumble, love me through it all.

I think, overall, that it's pretty fair to say you've changed my life. Even if sometimes I feel like such a hypocrite. But then, don't we all?

-Emma

Day 27 - The Friendliest Person You Knew For Only One Day

Dear Lauren,

I was never expecting to meet you! When I was arranging to meet up with Erica in London, it never crossed my mind that she might bring someone with her, but you came with her, which really surprised me!

I'm so glad you did come, though.

That day was one of the best days ever. Of course, at first, it was so awkward, I was beginning to regret setting the whole thing up, because no one really knew what to say to either of you! And as for American Apparel... it was a weird shop.

But when we went to Starbucks, all of that just melted away, like the chocolate chips in the cookies that you had never thought to ask to be heated before! We were so shocked to hear that you didn't know what spuds were, then we swapped so many local slang words, and just talked about everything, it was brilliant! Before that, I had kind of just talked to Erica, I hadn't really known what to say to you, but that broke the ice between us all! Ha tea solves everything.

I wish you hadn't had to leave as soon as we got back to the Tube station - it was such a short afternoon, and it went by so fast! I gave you a hug - which so often feels weird, but with you it wasn't - and you were gone. It kind of felt unfair that Erica could stay and you couldn't, but I'm so glad to have met you, even if that time was cut way too short.

-Emma

Day 26 - The Last Person You Made A Pinky Promise To

Dear Jordan,

I considered making this one anonymous, but then I kind of realised there's no point! I'm too in the mood for inside jokes, hehe.

So a few weeks ago you were reading my blog, and I was all "ahh I've never made a pinky promise," and then we made a pinky promise (over MSN...) that you would avenge the dignity that Google stole from me if I kept a secret for you. And I have kept it! And you avenged my dignity! Yay!

So I remember the first time I realise you exist. You probably wish I didn't. It was when your name got put on the boys' list for Games in the first week of first year ^_^

Seriously though, the first three years of high school I was totally convinced that you, James and Mark were incredibly weird! I couldn't understand why you only ever seemed to hang out with these two boys, I didn't get the sense of humour that you shared, and besides, you were in 8.2! They were the enemy.

And in all seriousness, the only clear memory of you I have from that time is when we were sitting in the middle of the entrance hall, and then you and James came over and told Rachel, "Ohhh, there's a rumour that you have a picture of the Wombles on your phone!" *mrf*

But then came fourth year, and you were in practically all of my classes! We sat together in Physics, too, and by that stage my own sense of humour had changed - it was pretty similar to yours! So after about a month, I no longer thought of you as someone to avoid for fear they would spread Wombly rumours about me, but as a friend. In fact, I started spending more time with your friendship group than my own, and then when Claudia did too, our fates were sealed!

We went to Jims a lot at that stage. Then one day we were walking up to the Esplanade, and you were joking to Claudia that she was going to get lost because she's a Gadgie - or something like that - and she replied, "Well, if I do get lost I can just use my Golden Compass!" and held out her hands in front of her, as if she was holding a compass. She kind of pointed at the back of the person walking a little in front of us, and you replied, "What, _____ is your Golden Compass?"

And life has never been the same since! WHAT WILL WE DO WITHOUT HIM NEXT YEAR?!?!?!

Beep beep beep to the EAST!

Ahhhh, Physics. Mrs McSkullough will be teaching us how to make a FRUIT CLOCK today, then we shall have some of Auntie Node's marshmallows!

Why do we have so many Physics inside jokes? "On a scale of one to the tempest, how much do you not want to go to Physics today?"

MATHS. How many maths inside jokes do we have?! We should have many. It's MATHS!

"Where are your TIES?!" And hiding pencils!!! Awww I miss Add Maths. Also, GC squared - Golden Thing = HOT!

Why can't I think of more maths-related things, this is a scandal. "Why is my DESK warm?!?!?!"

Ahem. I got a bit side-tracked there. Anyway, after the Golden Compass happened, because compasses can't be made, they just happen, LIKE BABIES, there was the dumping bench! The dumping bench, when you still fancied Priesty, and then we asked you if you could be stranded on an island with just two people, who would you want to be stranded with? "Well, Priesty I suppose." "Oh, how cliché!" "And James, because like, he IS my best friend." "But... would that not be really awkward? I mean, you and Priesty could be having a moment, and then James would come round the corner and be like 'Let's go fishing!' and Priesty would just go 'OKAY!'" I don't know why, but this has become the most legendary quote of ours of EVER. EDIT: Claudia wants credit for this quote, she was the one who said it with the Famous Five accent that we never could imitate again.

So it seemed like everything between us all would be good forever, but you must always BE PREPARED for anything! Like Hitler (H-I-T-L-E-R) and Winston Churchhill going to war! In other words, PR. But this is a happy blog, I'm in a ridiculously good mood writing it, so suffice it to say that I'm sorry I took sides over that, I shouldn't have. You two are an old married mathematical loud immature couple.

Oh, that. Um. I still haven't asked. =/

Ahem. Anyway, last year! Last year was so much fun! I loved L6, you were in most of my classes again, MATHS was always such good fun, we had a competition to pass our driving tests which I won by like 3 days, you disapproved of SuJu ("I shall not join the dark side, not even for Korean maths") and the three of us ignored you, we suddenly realised that we were subliminal messaging you because you could recite like half of their names, you put aside your hatred to help me write Camp K-pop, and in return I made you end up with Charlie (yay, ukelele!!!), we continued to stalk the GC, along with Amy we became owls (seductive owl! coo coo. excited owl! coocoocoocoocoocoo! swooning owl! cooooooo...), we had a massive facebook discussion about what Hogwarts house we'd all be in, and of course... we have dirt on Matthew. He must obey us. If he does not, we can tell Mr Howard he broke the UV! (Or he can keep it secret then blame Sheepy when he's gone lol)

Of course, thoughout all this, there was kind of a split in the group. Even though that second stupid row was over a year ago, it changed things so much and they haven't really gone back to the way they used to be at all. So it was kind of me, Claudia and Kerri. But then came this summer, with our e-mails, and finally figuring out Mrs Manta Ray's mystery of what, two years?, and Claudia complaining about your driving (I'm sorry but that was SO funny!), and us spamming Claudia's facebook with the quest, and then yesterday! Which was amazing and hilarious and brilliant. There was the amusements, and then your 89p stickers off the street, and Taboo, and raiding my mum's schoolbag to see if we could find the big sheet, and Jenga/Timberrr, and then HACKING YOUR FACEBOOK.

If I don't make a list of everything we did I'll forget some of it and so will you, that wouldn't do, and here seems as good a place as any ^_^

-Your gender became male
-Your birthday became the next day so you got a pile of "Happy Birthday!"s
-You were interested in Men AND Women
-You were looking for Friendship, Dating, AND A Relationship
-Your political views became Sectarian
-Your religious views changed from Christian to Muslim (Shi'ite)
-You listed Peter Thorogood as your brother
-Your relationship status changed from "In a relationship with Peter Thorogood" to "It's complicated" (and when Jeffery commented on this, saying "ooh who wif?" we replied "my brother :s")
-Your bio went from something like this:

"1, I'm very short
2, I can't spell
3, I am a maths nerd
4, I find bad grammar irritating even though my own sucks"

to something like this:

"1, I'm very short
2, I can't speel
3, I am a hermaphrodite
4, I find bad gramers irritatings even through ma own suck
5, I just found out my boyfriend is my brother :s"

-Your Favourite Quotations changed from a Bible verse to something like:
"Mmmmm amphetamines!
Let's go fishing!
I don't THINK I've ever been injected with HIV...
I'm preggers and it's not mine."

-And you suddenly liked several pages such as "Super Junior", "Reading the Holy Quran", "Quran TV", and "Not Being Dead".

Ahhhhh, it was a fun night.

I haven't even covered half of all our amazing memories - the Magee family!!! The way EVERYONE'S typing fails when you're on MSN! Mom jeans! - but you are one of my closest friends at the moment. I hate that you can be so insecure sometimes because I know how much that makes you suffer, but you wouldn't have to put up with me if I wasn't your friend. (If you can create sense out of that then well done. You are clearly paying more attention than me! BUT NO, WE DON'T NEED A PACKET OF CRISPS OVER HERE!)

Sorry, this is not a serious letter, it rejects the seriousness :s

But seriously.

You are one of the very VERY few people I allow to stalk me. I don't let Kerri stalk me. (She probably wouldn't bother, but that's not the point.) Make of that what you will!

MAUL

THAT IS ALL

(Hitler says night night )

-Emma

Day 25 - The Person You Know That Is Going Through The Worst Of Times

Dear Granda,

Every time I see you, I can see the pain that's reflected in your eyes. You try to hide it, but it's always there.

I wish I knew what to say. I always try to make you laugh - and I usually succeed - but your smile hasn't reached your eyes in a long time. The worst of it is that you won't LET anyone help you.

Do you really think this is what Granny would have wanted? After two years, you haven't started to heal one tiny bit, and anyone who knows you at all worries about you. You told Florence that all you want is to pass on, and be with her again. Do you have any idea what effect that kind of talk has on people? Yes, I know that you're suffering, but when you're affecting the life of everyone around you it's gone too far.

You try not to stay away from the house for too long. You rarely see anyone unless you're doing some sort of work for them, or church or if we've coaxed you to our house for dinner. AND ANOTHER THING. Bread and jam is NOT a meal!

I just don't even know. There's a difference between going through hard times and letting yourself be crushed by hard times. I just wish you would fight back, because you're turning into a shadow of the person you once were, and I hate that.

I miss Granny. But I miss you too.

-Emma

Day 24 - The Person That Gave You Your Favourite Memory

Dear Asian Magician,

I thought of you the second I saw this prompt! Because while the entire London trip is one of my favourite memories ever, I think that you were my favourite part of that.

That night is something I'll remember for a long time. After the Lion King - which hadn't seemed as awesome as it could have been, since we were seeing it after the amazingness of WICKED - we were all kind of annoyed that Mr C was making us walk so far; there was a different tube station closer and it would have been easier to simply call a taxi! Not to mention some of us were wearing heels! Not high ones, but still!

So then, when we ended up in PICCADILLY CIRCUS of all places, where Claudia and I had gotten completely lost only a few hours beforehand (which, to be honest, had kind of ruined that afternoon), we were even more unhappy!

BUT THEN.

As we were waiting for the rest of the group to catch up, Claudia suddenly noticed you preparing to give a little mini show on the street! She immediately pointed you out to Kerri and me, because you were kinda cute ^_^

So you started the little magic show, and I'll be honest... the tricks were kinda crap. Lol. The floating table was actually quite cool though! And then, just as Mr C was about to tell us all to leave, you chose Sarah as your assistant for the evening! So we had to stay for another ten minutes or so, teehee.

AND THEN YOU BROUGHT OUT A KOREAN FLAG.

The three of us practically exploded! You said that you were from South Korea but had recently moved to London, and that you loved the city. As you were performing your last trick, the three of us - who by now had been k-pop fans for a good while - were fiercely debating whether or not we should say something to you. Claudia wasn't really sure, Kerri - normally the semi-whore one with charm! - came over all shy, but me being the language afictionado I am, I insisted on trying out our newly-learnt Korean. So when you were collecting money at the end, we approached you - luckily Mr C was trying to round all the juniors into the tube station, while they were all crowding around Sarah, and all the other sixth-years had disappeared, so I don't think anyone actually noticed us doing so, lol.

And in hindsight, the fact that "saranghae" was the first thing I said to you probably freaked you out beyond measure! Especially given how informal it was... if I could go back to that night, the only thing I'd change would be to say "saranghaeyo" or "saranghamnida" instead. But that was one of the most impulsive things I've ever done, and I know I'd have regretted it forever if I HADN'T done it!

But after looking a bit shocked that some foreign girl was randomly declaring her love for you in your native language, you took it in your stride, smiled, and said "gamsahamnida". Then Claudia and Kerri came up and both said "annyeonghaseyo", you looked so bewildered, but then Claudia just burst out "Super Junior!!" and you went "ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Lol we realised afterwards that you probably aren't a huge fan - well, you were a GUY, so just assuming - and you probably weren't that keen on hearing about them again after moving halfway across the world, but you did at least look less confused after that, lol!

We gave you a few coins, and then we really had to leave. I had never thought I'd ever get a chance to use the Korean I'd learnt, but then you appeared! You will never know how much that experience meant to me - it was such a random thing, but I'm so glad it happened! So thank you so much just for - well, for existing, I suppose!

-Emma

Day 23 - The Last Person You Kissed

Dear...

...

Well.

Um.

This is awkward.

It would be much easier if I was Kerri. Then you would DEFINITELY exist.

But alas, you do not. Candlemage, what a waste of a letter!

-Emma

Written because that accounts for all the missed days now yay! Hehe this was a fun one ^_^

Day 22 - Someone You Want To Give A Second Chance To

Another one today because I skipped two days by mistake...

Dear Aliwook,

I remember the first time I met you very clearly. It was the first day of L6, you were new and shy, and I was really, REALLY ridiculously hyper. I think I scared you a little bit...

But I quite liked you, based on first impressions. And you were in French, that was nice.

But as the year went on, it felt like you really didn't like me. I don't know - I tried to make an effort at first, but as time went on I just gave up. No one else seemed to have really made friends with you either - to be honest you seemed very bitter.

And then one day, Claudia told me that you'd been saying I was really - what was it, bigheaded? Or else stuck-up. Something bad, let's leave it at that - on the bus, and she'd told you to quit mouthin'. After that, you suddenly became a lot nicer - fear of Claudia, perhaps? Lol. Anyway, I felt really bad so I made an effort too, and I think we sort of became friends? ish?

At any rate, I still think you were a bit unfriendly to most people last year, but I really want to put that behind - for one thing, we'll be the only ones in French this year! But as well as that, I don't think you're a bad sort, we can get on quite well really. So this year, let's make things different, kay?

-Emma

PS - You really, REALLY look like Ryeowook. Claudia even created proof!!! Therefore, you have become Aliwook. This distinguishes you from Alison Foster, you see ^_^

Day 21 - Someone You Judged By Their First Impression

Dear Someone,

Hi. I definitely judged you on your first impression, and judged wrongly. The sad thing is that so many people do.

I thought you were great fun, that you were really in touch with what teenagers needed, that you knew what you were doing.

Like I said, I was wrong.

Soon, you disappeared for a little while. I remember wondering if things would be the same, and sure enough, they didn't seem as fun. But they were better-organised, and we learned more.

You came back, a bit late, and everything was fun again... and then I started noticing all your flaws, and by now it's got to the stage where I don't know how I could have missed them. Your ideas are usually ridiculous, but you make them work through sheer stubbornness, whether they're effective or not. You never listen to ANYONE else, you always think you know best. You can be so interfering, so patronising, so off-putting, such a hypocrite...

And the worst part is that you have all your loyal supporters who hang on your every word.

But it's people like you - the ones who are walking, talking propaganda; the ultimate stereotype, really - that disillusion me. Sometimes, I want to get more involved and change things for the better. But 99% percent of the time, I'm just past caring. I'm sick of it all, and I know that there's nothing I can do to change things anyway. At least not here, where the roots are just too deep.

If you won't even listen to my mother, why on earth would you ever listen to me?

Of course, you did try and get me involved. I wonder why that was - other people running away because they eventually saw through you, hmm? At any rate, I was surprised to be asked, I thought you'd probably avoid me like the plague. But I said I'd think about it... and avoided you ever since. Polite refusal, see? Because there's no way that I could accept. Working with you like that... I'd lose my temper after about two weeks. And that would be bad. Because that would set a precedent, and I'd probably end up arguing with you all the time. And a) that's not a situation I want to get into, and b) I really can't be bothered. Especially with how much work I'll have anyway!

To sum up: like I said, I judged you wrongly. I thought you were a great role model.

Now I realise that's just what you want to be. And what you're trying so hard to be. But in all the wrong ways. And if you're not careful, your current attitude is going to ruin a whole lot of lives. If it hasn't ruined them already.

-Emma

Holiday + Results

I never actually write in this. I feel that I should.

Bournemouth was amazing! So much better than I was expecting! Paulton's Park was great fun - the weather that day just MADE it, it was more like a French climate really - and the paint-a-pot at Poole was awesome! I felt really artistic, hehehe. The highlight was definitely the air festival, though - all those jets, the mock parachute jump, the army assault course, the marine beach landing, it was all INCREDIBLE, definitely one of the best days of the summer! It's a shame we couldn't have stayed just a half hour longer without missing the flight - it would be SO cool to be able to say we'd seen the Red Arrows twice in one month ;D

While we were there, the results came out! 4 As, yay! I wasn't totally sure what I'd got in English, so that was good. I don't know what place I came in Physics though, arghhh. If I came 1st or 2nd I want to keep it on. Actually, from the results breakdown that we got in the post, Dad worked it out that I got my best mark in it - AND WORST IN ENGLISH, SURPRISE SURPRISE - so I REALLY don't want to drop it. In fact, I would love to just drop English and be done with it, but I can't because of uni, not to mention Miss Taylor would skin me alive. Bah humbug.

On the other hand, I'm really looking forward to Midsummer Night's Dream!

...Why am I such a nerd?

Day 20 - The One That Broke Your Heart The Hardest

Dear Monstrosity,

I haven't met you yet. Or else I have met you but you haven't done it yet. Either way, I'm already rather impressed, if you're going to manage to break my heart when it's so hard, that's no mean feat.

But still. I will kill you in your sleep.

-Emma

Day 19 - Someone That Pesters Your Mind (Good Or Bad)

Dear Mercy,

I've known about you for several months now - oh, ok, just May... it feels like longer, lol. The very very first time I even vaguely realised you exist it was something along the lines of "WHAT?! 0_0 Another one? I disapprove of this. I disapprove a LOT. So now there are TWO needing finished before the next Song? ARGH" Of course, that was my very VERY first reaction, about two minutes later it changed to "ajsdasjlf I DON'T EVEN CARE THIS IS EPIC!" Then soon after that there was the next little part - and that's when I realised properly that you exist, and I was quite amazed at my willpower that I didn't run straight to wikipedia right then! Lol.

So that was all well and good. I did keep an eye out for you after that, but I didn't really care that much anyway.

So there I was on holiday, checking twitter by stolen wifi at the pool, and there was the snippet of 10... and I almost exploded!

Of course, 10 practically caused a mental breakdown all round. But it was so worth it! It was amazing. Especially given I had been waiting for it since the start, for two reasons at that!!! Ok, so I had already figured out near the start that they were the same, BUT STILL! That just made it doubly amazing ^_^ But then, the certain someone who alerted me to your existance in the first place made a comment about it that made me think "What? How can anyone be upset about THIS?! ... Screw it, to wikipedia!!!"

Sometime soon after that, I decided I HAD to find you. I'm blaming this on 10.

So I went looking. And I failed miserably! It definitely didn't help that the following car journey was... painful.

Soon afterwards, I decided screw it, and preempted Belfast. I wasn't really expecting it to WORK, anyway!

And then the past week... I was not expecting that at all. My love for kpop all but vanished!!! Well, the same certain someone fixed THAT, lol. Collabs are fun and oh so VERY cracky XD

But ignoring that, I mean, last time, it took about 4 months for it to vanish altogether, longer the time before. Because of you, the vanishing has occurred within A WEEK. That's crazy!!! And now, I can't stop pondering all the little details, which I suppose is perfectly normal, but wow. I am in awe of - idek, the entire setup? I hadn't actually realised how much FFF stole from it, but that doesn't detract at ALL from the awesomeness. And then because of you I understand FFF so much better as well! Of course, in both cases my bias is the same. Which practically brings us back to 10, of course. Kekeke XD

So yes, the best example of you pestering my mind, of course, happened in Poundworld. Mum and I were at the till, the woman at the till passed me the bag as mum was paying, I thanked her... and then, I think my thought process went along the lines of "OH NO WHAT DID I JUST DO - wait, no..." and then I had the biggest fit of mental LAWLS I've had in a while. Because that is just HILARIOUS! Luckily mum didn't notice!

Oh, and of course, I had to look it up! But there is NOTHING. This distresses me greatly =(

But anyway, thank you so much - I know YOU won't hold it against me, lol - just for being epic ^_^

-Emma

PS: I'm rooting for the Mystery Machine. Odd, I don't usually go for the rare ones! XD

Note: On holiday again from tomorrow, so most likely there won't be any more for a week. Also, this one was probably one of the most fun to write of all, teeheehee!